I'm Sorry

by MaSkEdSoUl   Apr 17, 2007


I'm sorry daddy
I really am
I didn't mean to do it

You were coming toward me
And my finger just slipped
My mind reacted
In a way I regret

I'm sorry mom
I'm sorry bro
I didn't mean to do it
Can you all forgive me?

Daddy I didn't mean to
I'm sorry daddy
I really am.

**I wrote this cuz I saw a movie where a kid had a gun in his hand and his dad was going toward him to hit him and the kid reacted without thinking. Its not one of my best ones but I thought I'd give it a try. Hope you like it!**

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I think there could be more emotion and depth in this...
    The flow seemed off most of the times, and I thought it was much to short.
    Also, try not to use so many fillers, as a lot of the time that is what throws the flow off.

  • 17 years ago

    by I Seem to be the Heartless

    Good topic. You write very well...

    Josie

  • 17 years ago

    by Ashleigh Skye

    I liked the idea that you had for this poem but I think that if you went into a bit more detail as to what the kid was feeling when this happened to him and how suprised and everything he was then it would be a bit better.

  • 17 years ago

    by amoxi

    This poem was pretty good, id prolly react the same way for enough is enough and theres no reason to beat up on ur kids thats not acceptable, u wrote it well great job

  • 17 years ago

    by Finalgravedigger

    Its very true this kind of situation. I heard a childs voice in this poem, i liked it 4/5 . Keep writing.

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