Sunset of Summer

Sunset of Summer (The Last Walk)

He smiled in a big way, the way a boy like that smiles
He looked deep into me, spheres of sunrise blue
as we walked together, going nowhere, yet everywhere
and everything you could possibly imagine...

Childhood playmates, the best of friends
wishing these sunny days to never end
Yet, what we call brothers to lovers
something it seems, love does not recommend.

We talked of many things
happy things, sad things,
things we wish we could change.
An ominous fear of home
loomed over me like a shadow
But he made me feel better
than I've ever been before.
He always seems to do that to me.

Though kept by his side, still sad within
I said "no one is alone, the way I feel alone."
And for once, I saw the smile slide of his face.
Instant regret, because he can't compare to that.

I watched him say "I don't laugh much anymore"
And to me, it had become the saddest words to hear
Because i could not help him, as he does for me
And a boy like that, should never stop smiling.
A boy like that, should never change.
Its good to know, he never wants to.

I watch him
He watches me
Differently.
I see him
He sees me
Differently.
To us, we speak
of just the same,
Both so lonely
Both so close
Yet- for me, so hopeless
And- for him, so afraid
For fear of loosing a best friend
But is the yearning for a lover
greater than loosing a brother?
To us, it seemed it was.
Because we see each other
Differently.

We told each other sad things, solemnly
with a smile, so as not to cry...
Apologies inside, seeping out a bit softer
Reaching for me, his sweet touch
just to bring the gleam back into my eyes
Such a dark, dark dreadful blue.
Yet you always seem to burst sunshine on my rain.

These kinds of child-like days,
the ones that should last forever
are the ones that come so rarely,
and which I cherish that most.
Because thats all I seemed to get,
Just a moment, just a touch.

And you may never be coming home again.
And I wonder if we'll ever walk together again.

But as time passed, we grew silent and stopped
trying to hide my eyes turning sad again
because I knew our walk was at an end.
So I loosely, hugged goodbye my best friend
Then- a wrenching unwanted separation
like a teddy bear pried from a child's arms
I looked backed and watched...
as I saw this boy I loved,
walked away,
for the millionth time.
He glided and faded softly out of sight
just like the sunset of my favorite summer.

And as I turned to walk away as well
A tear gently, so wet, so big, rolled down
Then, another.
and...another.
Until I could not longer walk without whispering
"I've lost him. For the last time, of the last times.
I couldn't tell him the one thing i wanted to,
and now, I've lost him."

Sometimes, its hard to say "I love you"
To the people you love the most.