Authors note: this poem, is by far, one of my personal favorites. i hope you enjoy it as much as i did writing it.
although i wrote it at a painful time in my life, it was, as all experiences, one that has molded me & made me into what i am today. enjoy =]
China doll
[what we want]
sometimes i just want to fly away
from everyone & everything.
I just want to escape,
& find my own place where I can just be me.
I want to find someone that will love me
for who I am.
not what I look like;
& in their eyes,
I shall remain ever so beautiful.
I want to be loved so badly it hurts.
My heart is so tired and beaten down.
so broken and confused. I want to give up;
but I cant let myself do that.
I really just want to be held by someone
who loves me so much.
who will never let me go,
whisper sweet nothings into my ear
& who will sing me to sleep.
I want someone to take away all of my pain
& who will just love me.
love me love me love me love me
I want someone to love me
hold me hug me;
kiss me like Ive never been kissed before
I want someone to take care of me
& wipe away all of my tears
who will take me far away
& we will fly away together.
I want someone who will be my friend
& love me unconditionally.
I want it to be you.
but the truth still remains.
we cant always get what we want.
For I am the china doll placed upon the shelf
waiting for you to come back & play with her
once again.
I hide behind my painted face & plastic smiles
bursting in arrays of cotton candy eyes and rusty scars.
I entertain you & make you laugh
until your vision is blurry.
I sit quietly and smile;
but you will never know what I am smiling for;
For that is my secret.
So play me like a puppet on a string,
letting you control my every action to your hearts delight.
& when boredom sets in and you no longer want me, throw me to the side and crawl into bed.
I will lay there, upon the floor.
My face cracked and my eyes a dimmer.
The hollow cavity in my chest will start to burn once more
& my cotton candy eyes will result in a watery glaze.
But my smile shall remain there, ever so beautiful.
Until the time comes when you will pick me up,
and once again, let me fall from grace.
