I really like this poem.alot of emotion put into it. well done. take care. 5/5

~Chelsea

Hey,
great poem, I like that the stanza's are short it makes them flow nicely..i also like the rhyming..in other words i love your poem;)
keep up the good work 5/5
kisses stephanie

A unique topic with a very nice flow. It seemed in this poem that you relyed mostly on two of the five sences, sight, and hearing, you developed those in the beginning of the poem very nicely.

Watch your family
Disappear in time
Watch it wilt
Watch it decline
^^^ I loved this line, the words sounded perfect together and it was VERY meaningful

Hear the sound
Of fists on walls
Watch your families
rise and falls
^^ This stanza doesn't seem to fit your poem. The whole way through you were talking about yourself, in the first person tence, and then you switched to second person in this stanza.

Yet you're confused
They tell you why
I love my family
Till the day I die
^^ Up until this point you compleated each thought thoroughly before starting the next stanza. But in this one you were saying that they explained to you why, but then you didn't talk about him hitting your mom, but insted you jumped to a different, sort of filler topic and said that you loved your family.

I love out family
I lover our home
But home isn't home anymore
It is to disown
^^a very powerful and emotionful ending. But i didn't understand the last sentance, it seemed forced and didn't fit in the stanza.

Other than that punctuation might help you have your reader read this better, and more like how you intended.

Very nice job over all 5/5

Pretty good emotions felt here, but the vocabulary used to express them could use some expounding.
i aslo like the last stanza. very vivid.

Tom