The bells

by firexdancer   Apr 17, 2007


The bells toll,
The bells of death.
For the men,
As they take their last breath.

The wind blows,
A keen of pain.
For the children,
Whose blood falls down like rain.

The animal speaks,
The being of power.
They bare their chests,
Blood is all they can offer.

The earth shakes,
A call for freedom,
As the slaves fall,
Their faces gruesome.

The men walk,
The men once dead,
Chanting as they go,
"he gave us his blood and bread"

the children sink,
in waves of blue,
in their place,
an ocean grew.

The blood spills,
But blood of forgiveness,
As it dissolves into,
The forever of darkness.

The slaves run free,
Chains cast aside,
They watched them go,
They hadn't lied.

We still stand here,
Weapons in arm,
Yet maybe today,
we'll do no harm.

i wrote this also for a contest. i hope it's good....
thanks
gabriella

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Nix

    Well done! Fantastic poem, I don't like one thing. You used word-blood- too many times but the rest of this piece is superb. Really deep and powerful, I like it, 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Choose xX Alex Xx Life

    This is the only poem ever which the use of the word 'The' is used with importance. It really was good the repetition you used of some of the words.

    xxx alex xxx

  • 17 years ago

    by Choose xX Alex Xx Life

    Such a good poem you are a good writer hun:D

    xxx alex xxx

  • 17 years ago

    by Brittany C

    A cool and different poem. I think that it is great:) 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    I think this is a very good subject of poem to enter into a contest; it shows originality. The most of it was good...but of course I have my suggestions.
    Second stanza (second and fourth line) are somewhat overused images. Take the words "scream" and "pain" for instance...look in a thesaurus and see if there are any other words less cliche that you could use instead. This will obviously change the rhyme, but then again blood compared with rain could also be considered cliche, so you can then try and edit that line also.
    You have a pattern of the first letter of each line being capitalised, well for the most of the poem anyway. You may want to make sure ALL lines are the same...Just for presentations sake.
    Ok well good luck in the contest. Keep writing.

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