Well then you would have won the competitino. this was an excellent poem. great one.

5/5 david

I think this is a very good subject of poem to enter into a contest; it shows originality. The most of it was good...but of course I have my suggestions.
Second stanza (second and fourth line) are somewhat overused images. Take the words "scream" and "pain" for instance...look in a thesaurus and see if there are any other words less cliche that you could use instead. This will obviously change the rhyme, but then again blood compared with rain could also be considered cliche, so you can then try and edit that line also.
You have a pattern of the first letter of each line being capitalised, well for the most of the poem anyway. You may want to make sure ALL lines are the same...Just for presentations sake.
Ok well good luck in the contest. Keep writing.

A cool and different poem. I think that it is great:) 5/5

Such a good poem you are a good writer hun:D

xxx alex xxx

This is the only poem ever which the use of the word 'The' is used with importance. It really was good the repetition you used of some of the words.

xxx alex xxx

Well done! Fantastic poem, I don't like one thing. You used word-blood- too many times but the rest of this piece is superb. Really deep and powerful, I like it, 5/5