24 hours, a will, and a lie.

by honeypot   Apr 17, 2007


She kissed him goodbye
He got onto the train
She could see in his eyes
The tears of his pain.

She said it was over
For better, for worse?
He pulled away in a carriage
She slunk back to her hearse.

How could she tell him?
It was better this way
Before the demons arrived
To take her away,

Admonished in spirit
A rot to the core
Tearing her hair out
In piles on the floor.

The cancer had taken
The life she once knew
She would not take his
Along with her too.

The sirens were coming
It all seemed so soon
Away with the life
That had grown in her womb

Away to new parents
With a horse in the yard
And a life that was purer
Not bitter and scarred.

She had set them all free
Except for the truth
That he was the daddy
Of her baby Ruth.

It was all over
For better, for worse
Closed lid on the carriage
She slunk back to her hearse.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by skynerraw

    Wow! Amazing, sad poem.....the flow was great it was full of emotion......5/5 for sure!

  • 17 years ago

    by ImNotPerfect20

    Oh that was so sad.. Flow was great.. 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Alex

    Your really good at rhyming. I'm rubbish at that. Brilliant poem!

  • 17 years ago

    by firexdancer

    This is so sad!!! it flowed so perfectly though, and the penning was gorgeous.. and you wrote again!!! you really need to write more often, cause you really are a very talented writer... 5/5 keep it up
    xoxo
    gabriella

  • 17 years ago

    by TamborineMan

    Very nice. Most lines transitioned very smoothly. I couldn't find much to pick at (though I tried). My comments are merely suggestions since, like I said, it seems very well fleshed out.

    line 2: 'got' is extremely un-descriptive. 'stepped? or some other verb.

    I found the punctuation distracting at times (comma at the end of 3rd stanza, and periods at the end of 4th and 5th broke the flow)

    though I liked the 8th stanza

    hope that was in any way useful. :\

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