My Own Land

Listening to people around me

Not knowing what they say

Staring down at the floor

As my world slowly fades away

Off into another world

Where I can be free

Free from this body I'm trapped in

This prison called me

I wish to become someone else

And not be who I am

I'm no social butterfly

But I do what I can

Playing with my food

Praying and hoping it'll go away

But I do not get my wish

So there it must stay

Either I don't eat

Or I'm hanging my head over my porcelain throne

Taking away my life

A life that wasn't my own

Going on with each day

Putting on a show

If only others could see

If only they could know

I sit and watch

I listen to what goes on around me

But I dare not smile

For then others might see

See behind the mask

That I've held onto so tight

My eyes being to wander

And then they fill with fright

I am enjoying myself

But that can't be

The voices get stronger

And then they make me see

I deserve to be miserable

I deserve what I get

I'm no confident person

I'm filled with regrets

One regret I will hold

Will be not being who I am

Especially tonight

Because I know I can

But I'm to scared

Of what people think

So I hide behind this mask

And let my heart sink

What I want doesn't matter

So I hold it all in

For what I do to myself

Can be seen as a sin

So I'm no social butterfly

But I deal with that everyday

I go to my own land

And that's where I'm OK