Comments : Cute Without The E

  • 17 years ago

    by Mommy And Me

    Wow jenna. i really liked this peom. some of the words seemed a little distressed and pushed into the poem. but other wise it is awsome. and i almost cried when i read it.

  • 17 years ago

    by Romantic Lover

    What an excellent poem. I saw this contest and just couldn't figure out what I'd write about. The story here was very well described with a great message at the end. It takes courage to say goodbye.
    Good luck on the contest.

  • 17 years ago

    by Gothic Princess

    Jenna, I loved this poem...such emotion and sadness. I enjoy reading ur poems because they always seem to have a lot of truth and sadness to them and behind them.

  • 17 years ago

    by BeautifulxMess

    Ahhhh...AWESOME! Okay, beautifuly written, tells a sad but wonderful story. The rhyming wasn't forced. The flow of the poem was flawless. Ah wonderful! Love it!
    God bless 5/5
    <3tayyy

  • 17 years ago

    by ben thompson

    Good write my friend i especially liked the first stanza. great word usage as well. 5/5 best of wishes

  • 17 years ago

    by ShhhhItsASecret©

    The imagery was great. You had a very good point and I love how you described it so well. There was just something about the last stanza that didn't quite fit.. I don't know if it's how it is worded, but it doesn't seem to flow very well...

    "And as the Preacher talks to Jesus, A tear falls down from her eye,
    As she lifts her veil and finally gains the courage to say good-bye,
    But when she throws her wedding band down, she smiles and turns,
    Walking away from you for the last time, her lesson learned."

    - Maybe you said "as" too many times... I really don't know. It could just be me.. But I think you could reword some of it to make it even better.

    -BJ-

  • 17 years ago

    by ShhhhItsASecret©

    Maybe if it was something like....

    And as the preacher talks to Jesus, a tear falls down from her eye,
    She lifts her veil slowly and finally gains the courage to say good-bye,
    Throwing down her wedding band, she smiles and turns,
    Walking away from you for the last time, her lesson learned.

    - Just a quick rewording... I am just giving an example of what I'd do with it.

  • 17 years ago

    by disturbed one

    Im not really even sure what to say about this, its awesome. Like, I cant even fathom where you get ideas like this

    5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by David

    Ah well done. i was gripped from the very begining. the title that is. and this was excellent! i loved how you described it. how she felt. the emotion and pain she felt.

    5/5 David