Cast behind your shadow

by Black Princess   Apr 19, 2007


An empty echo of laughter,
covers the in-demiscible sound of tears,
a dark cloud of pain and emptiness
shadows over many of my lost years.

Enough tears to fill the ocean,
enough pain to kill a herd.
enough silence to scorn a deaf man
my soul still burning from your words.

My body aching from the torment
that you have had me lead.
Waking up from this torturous slumber
I may seem alive but inside I am dead.

So smile for me and show me,
that once I have made you proud,
I have been for one mere moment
good enough to sit upon your cloud.

That my pain and suffering was worth it
that losing my soul made you see,
everything I have done in this life
was in the hope you would appreciate me.

Tired of not being good enough
exhausted from trying to be.
I am no angel nor close to it
I have only ever been, just me.

Ashamed to be your daughter
and yet so proud of whom I have become,
You cannot erase my memories,
what you did is already done.

So I smile to those who I talk to,
and I pretend that all is well,
everyone is so blind to see
I am burning away in a living hell.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Fsams

    Wow great, this is really nice. The consecutive rhymes are so well written it really caught my attention. You deserve 5/5 and you got it :)

    Tc
    Fsams

  • 17 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    I really like this a lot. Especially the ending. I like how the reference to 'burning' makes the image of 'Hell' seem so much more real.

    "An empty echo of laughter,
    covers the in dismissible sound of tears,"

    ^ 'in dismissible' should be 'indismissable'.

    "Enough tears to fill the ocean,
    enough pain to kill a heard.
    enough silence to scorn a def man"

    'Heard' should be 'herd'.
    'Def' should be 'deaf'.

    Overall, it was an enjoyable read.

  • 17 years ago

    by LithiumSacrifice

    5/5 excellent poem. wonderfull job.

    i loved this stanza?

    "That my pain and suffering was worth it
    that losing my soul made you see,
    everything I have done in this life
    was in the hope you would appreciate me."

    that was my fav. but the WHOLE poem was very impressive and well done. I absolutley loved it.

    *adds you to fav*

  • 17 years ago

    by The Pessimistic Peabody

    Wow i can really relate to this. Overall it a very good poem, full of feeling. The flow is a little shaky and there is 1 or 2 mistakes, like "lead" and "dead" do not rhyme well. I loved the 6th stanza though. Very heartfelt keep up the good work

  • 17 years ago

    by Alesia

    To be honest, I really loved this poem. It was truly smashin'! The flow was really good. The whole poem was very much emotive, and you made what you had to say very clear. I love the wording as well. Fantastic job, and keep it up.

    Alesia

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