The Memory of a cutter

The question I always get is why and what happened and where?
They look at me and ask these questions as if they really care
I can't answer them fully, because I don't know how
It just happened, I just lost it and didn't have control
I remember it clearly as if it were just minutes ago
That day when i came home and found I was alone
At school I saw him, flirting with my best friend
It's not like we were dating so did it matter in the end?
I went straight into my bedroom and made sure to lock the door
I turned on some sad music and sat there on the floor
It took me a great time to think of what exactly I was going to do
But then my thoughts wrapped around him and the truth
I stood and grabbed the telephone as I turned out my lights
I talked to him for hours trying to get things right in my mind
He tried to calm me down as best he possibly could
But the tears kept coming down so fast I never understood
I hung up on him and went into the bathroom, I sat on the edge of the bathtub and grabbed the pin
I looked down at my arm and couldn't stop thinking of him
I remembered the words he spoke, every action, and every smile
I sat there and thought it over just awhile
But I couldn't take it, his face in my mind
I thought maybe if i cut it'll all be just fine
I carved the two letters into the top of my wrist
And I still can see the scars after a year of all i missed
To this day we still talk, we still laugh and reminace
To this day I think that what i did was right even though it's still him I miss
I have scars from cuts, burns, scratches and much more
I can pin point every mark that's gone and how long it's been since and what I made them for
So back to those questions, who, how, what, and when
If You were paying more attention you'd know exactly how it's all been