Comments : Hide and Seek. [Acrostic]

  • 17 years ago

    by SmileeItsBritt

    This is very dark.. but overall I definatly liked it.
    "Said self righteous killer" theres something about that, that i just love. Good Job!

  • 17 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    Coincidently I've just commented on an acrostic; how strange
    Anyway...I know how hard this form is, and i'd usually advise against rhyme with acrostics because it just adds to the restriction, having said that, you pulled this off very well. I forgot it was an acrostic and was able to read it as a regular poem, which show it sin't forced and is a well written acrostic.
    I love creative words, but I felt some words in here weren't poetry friendly and actually hindered the fluency e.g "narcissistic."
    I enjoyed the final line; a strong clear finish to the poem.
    Thanks for sharing.

  • 17 years ago

    by firexdancer

    Wow, even this poem would kinda scare me... but it was absolutely gorgeous... so beautifully penned and flowed so good. 5/5 for this.
    gabriella

  • 17 years ago

    by Hannah Emellia

    Wow, A nicely written beautiful dark poem. I liked the last stanza the best. Very vivid. 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Simple Sensation

    Hey,
    First of all thank you for your comments. :)
    Now i have to say when i read this poem i thought "wow", it was truly an amazing poem. i love oyur vocabulary youve used, the discription is quite vivid. I liked the flow of it, it worked quite well, as well as the rhythem whiwch was relaly great. When reading it aloud the poem seemed so powerful, and the way i read it i seemed to naturally put some extra force with some of the words. AIts great how you did that. I loved the ending of it, i just thought it was a perfect ending to the poem. "Playing hide and seek" i liek how you've kinda compared what your poem was about to just a game whcih all children play. Really great read! Keep writing! xx

  • 17 years ago

    by Melpomene

    I really enjoyed this poem, the title straight away caught my eye i really like it because i was thinking about using the same title only not as an acrostic poem. This poem you wrote was really dark. Loved the last line the most but the whole poem was amazing. Well done~mel

  • 17 years ago

    by Lauren

    Good work making in using the letters and still making a great poem
    xx

  • 17 years ago

    by Kristina

    Wow this is really good. i really enjoyed reading it very much. i think you did a really great job on writing it. 5/5

    ~Kristina

  • 17 years ago

    by KeyxMashingxParody

    Very creepy and chilling babe! Love it! 5/5

    -Liz-
    ~of life to live, I gave it all up~

    ps: I HAVE A BFF FROM IRELAND! ROCK ON! (luv u alba!)

  • 17 years ago

    by Ashleigh Skye

    Wow this poem was extremely dark. I loved it.. very nice job especailly with the acrostic style. You managed to follow it to a T and yet it didnt take away from the horror of your poem at all.
    "Eager to fill play pens with dark crimson blood,"
    this line stuck with me the most its such a morbid picture that you were drawing. But it goes with the topic. Way to go. keep up the good work.

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    This is beautifully written.
    The flow is flawless throughout, the imagery is shocking-it creates very vivid pictures and yet at the same time it is used so elegantly.
    Word choice was a pleasure to read, and the ending hit me hard, I thought it was very intense.

  • 17 years ago

    by christina marie

    "Enfants lying quietly in a forever deepening sleep"
    Shouldn't it be infants?

    "Killer quietly searching; Playing hide and seek"
    Last line completely blew me away.
    I'm in love with this piece. :]

  • 17 years ago

    by isabel

    This poem really got me...I think acrostic poems are really hard to write...(i tried once...=D) but you just did it so good...i mean, it just blew me off, i just loved it...
    5/5
    *isabel*

  • 17 years ago

    by Marc Ortiz

    Lol you're really good at writing Acrostic poem! Fantastic work! keep writing! hihi I hope I will be as good as you someday in writing Acrostic poems! :D 5/5!

  • 17 years ago

    by xoxShorteexox

    That was really good, sweetie.
    I liked no matter what anyone else says. =]
    Your words were well-chosen and your emotion was very well-shown.
    Your imagery was as if I was right there watching it happen. It was amazing.
    5/5
    -Heater