Suicidal love

Walking in the room,
A gun in my hand,
I looked at you,
Keeping insanity by one strand,

You ignored,
I watched attentively,
You hurt me so bad,
You hurt me insensibly,

Trust me,
Killing myself I must,
If you loved me,
Give me your trust,

Stop me from pulling the trigger,
Just hold me tight,
Stop me from have in a bullet in my head,
Just keep me here with all your might,

But you didâ??t stop me,
As I wished would,
Blinking so bluntly,
You misunderstood,

I wanted you to say you loved me,
But you ddid??t,
With that moment I stuck the gun to my head,
I pulled the trigger and I fell,
Lying on the floor, dead.

Today, I still love you,
But I will wait,
But it has been ten years now,
Loving you is more than I can take,

Seeing you with a family,
A wife by your side,
Two children different years of age,
This made me think, â??Why did I let life pass me by?â??

I couldâ??ve bevie as happy as you are today,
With a family of my own,
Being held by my husband,
That would never let me go,

As a spirit I will wait,
For my soul will not go through,
I need to be with you just one more time,
As I was destine to,

You are still young,
And I understand,
But a afterlife without you,
Would be oh so bland,

So here I wait,
Until you come to where I am,
I will welcome you with a smile,
As happy as I can,

You may not want to see me,
I know it is sad but true,
But it is this situation,
That makes me want you.

The years go by, as you get older
But me the same,
Still it is you I am after,
My love for you is so hard to tame,

I see you,
At the age of eighty-four,
On your death bed,
I am starting to love you even more,

You finally pass,
Your kids cry as well as your wife,
I wait at the gates,
To show you the afterlifeâ??s life,

I was tearing in the eyes,
You look like you did back then,
You smiled at me,
I finally win,

It did make me sad at first,
When you didnâ?didnow who I was,
I was about to cry,
This was part of my lust,

You took my hand
And told me it was all right,
He did his cocky grin,
Holding my hand there tight.

But then I figured,
He couldnâcouldmember how he was dead,
It was slowly coming back to him,
Memories were fed,

Day by day,
A year comes back,
And I am glad,
That hated you lack,

You remembered,
And you remembered that hurtful day,
You said your apology,
And that is all that you had to say,

What he never remembered,
Was my love for him,
He never noticed now,
He never noticed then,

I wanted to tell him,
I wanted him to know,
This desiring love,
That will never let go,

On a fateful night,
I told him about my love for him,
How I felt then,
And that is why I did what I did,

He accepted my love,
And brought me close,
And said,
My death was such a great loss,

That made me so happy,
She loved me,
Not in the way that I want,
For he has a family,

At that moment,
I started to glow,
Others around started to grin,
I was about to go,

This is what held me back,
From the very start,
All I had to do,
Was tell about my heart,

The light had shown,
I was floating above,
This is what happens,
When there is suicidal love.
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I am in no desire to kill myself, I just wrote this on the day when my friend killed herself, and i knew why, so wrote it in her honor.... sort of.