In the mood

Sitting alone pondering where i am,
Completely lucid, yet not all here.
Life floats by, with its share of miseries and joys,
Never once pausing to explain its motivations.
Age comes with the passing of time,
So too, do experiences mound.
Each of them bringing us closer to understanding,
And at the same time drawing us achingly further away.
Perhaps then, that is the point of all of this,
That not knowing, is the ultimate truth.
There's something peaceful about that,
Something calming, that it's ok not to know.
Yet I feel cheated, robbed of something I held dear,
The idea that I, too could get closer to the devine.
That somehow I might discover some understanding,
Some final answer that I can cross off my list.

Heh, where would the fun be in that?