And the bright life, [[i]] had, is turning black and white.
Capitalize, lol.
This feelings more like a conversation or a story.
The flow was kind of unusual.
[[Kissing me softly, taking my pain away]]
That just seems really clichéd to me.
Maybe you could word it differently?
and in my mouth, there is no sweet taste.
I have no idea
What you’re talking about in that line.
Earth cries the most painful tears tonight.
That was completely random to me
And a bit forced.
All in all, my dear, I give you a 4 :]

Wow.. excellent poem.. you really have some talent.. i loved the words you used and how you were able to really describe it and paint a picture.. very very well writtenn.. excellent job.. keep it up =]

Wow.. defnilty my favorite.. the flow is PERFECT!.. the last line is just.. amazing.. so creative and poetic.. truly spectacular write :D

I loved this poem and the imagery in it's words, I could picture the water and the sun going down perfectly in my head. That's the sign of a good poem, to get the readers mind to go where you want it to. Excellent write 5/5

This is such an amazing poem, straight from the heart :-) keep it up please.

Everyone keep smiling :)

Very nicely done short bus nice work excellent piece of work take care 5/5

I very sad moving poem thats eaisy to relaite to... when reading i can feel whats going on... keep up the good work

Wow this was amazing. I loved the last line. Very sad. I liked how you described the scene instead of just focusing on the emotions completely. Wonderful job especially for the length you grabbed my attention and kept it for the whole thing, and not once did it sound fixed or bland. Well done.

I can't explain how good this was, there are no words that could tell you how much i loved this one, I could feel the pain and the emotion was over powering.
you are very talented, never forget that.
Love Tara-Kay

Another awesome piece. Your style is very unique I can see it clearly. 5/5 doubtless for the perfect words and flow

This was a really good poem, nice rhyming and a great message. Keep writing, i love your work so far.
5/5
Oscar

You really do great job when you use nature explanations..You know how to make them powerful and alive..and the flo was great

My fave lines should be;

Feel like you are here,
Kissing me softly, taking my pain away,
But a little tear running down my face.

Good job,
Laura

This is so heartfelt and sad. I could really feel your pain. The imagery you created, again, was so good. The flow flawless and vocab simple, yet worked well with this poem. 5/5

Tammie

Really good your wording capitiavted me once again and i really felt like i could relate to it. i can't really say much more because it just made me speechless ....wow really good job i look forward to reading more:) 5/5

Omg! you are so clever with words hun! its like, even short poems can give such description and such feelings and emotions! i love your writing, hope to read more soon!
nuff luv xx 5/5 added to favz! =]

HoW sweeT iS thiS poeM anD i loveD iT.

luzaN

Thats well good :) i really did like that cant find fault with it!!

Wow...such a powerful poem...the flow was perfect and the rhyming.

nice job.5/5

The flow was much better on this one. I loved the imagery too and it was another sad poem. *tears* Keep up the great work gave you a 5/5 on this one!

You pulled in alo with that poem, eaasy for anyone to take the protaganists place. well done.