Very well written. Nice choice of words. It has alot of strong emtion, exceptional write 5/5

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I liked this poem alot, for an older poem it still really showed greatness throughout it. I've read a few of your latest poems and you have improved alot from this, but i can tell poetry comes naturally to you as it was also great in this. Well done~mel

Wonderful poem. The flow was excellent and the emotion was shown.

'Yet my heart is still beating
Even as it was ripped from my chest
Know that I love you
I'd give you my last breath.'

Beautiful 5/5

|Sarah| [X]

Welldone.

joking lol.

This poem i well expressed and full of meaning, but there was a stanza i think you should fix (just my opinion)

I try to wash the stains
Like a mask I wear these tears
I try to hide it from the world
Im not doing too well without you here

Im not doing too well without you here.. urm i think this is a bit forced if you understand what i mean i do it myself sometimes how about .... 'The truth is the heart does fear'

i dont know just a suggestion

xxx alex xxx

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