Just another Disgrace under the Sun

by XxMoonLightxX   Apr 25, 2007


Living in a nightmare,
Never again will you care about me
Whether I live or die
Whether I smile or I cry
Never even caring about what use to be,

After all this time
I still lie here in the dark
Wishing you were next to me
Praying one day you will see
That you ripped my world apart

Do you not know how I much I love you?
Do you not see I cannot go on?
I would do anything to be with you
but I do not know what to do
I am completely empty with you gone

When you stopped caring I lost my will to live
We were best friends now we do not even talk
You are all that matters now
I cannot just yet throw in the towel
I guess for now I have to sulk

Letting go is something I cannot do
Forgiveness is such a simple word
But I know it is so hard to do
Such a hard thing to choose
When you have been hurt

Did you ever miss me?
Did you ever look at me and see my tears?
Ever wonder if I was alright
If I could sleep at night
If I had faced my fears

I am more afraid than ever
You have finally won
I cannot forget
Will always regret
I am just another disgrace under the sun

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I really enjoyed this.
    The rhyme scheme through me off at times, as sometimes there was a certain rhyme scheme then it switched and then there was no rhyme scheme at all.
    I think if you try and have a stable rhyme scheme, it will make the flow so much better.
    However, I think you did a good job with this, the first stanza realyl pulled me in and from thereon it just kept getting better and better.

  • 17 years ago

    by BeautifulxMess

    I saw a lot of places were the rhymed appeared to be forced. The flow was a bit shaky. A little bit of advice, when you do your stanzas, try and have them the same size as the others. It makes the poem have more structur. Also, try and keep the same amount of syllables as possible in each of the lines. Other than that, well done.
    God Bless 4/5
    <3Tay^__^

  • 17 years ago

    by Vanessa

    I think you did a really good job on this. Strong emtions, keep my intrest, and held my attention. Well written, nice word chose, excellent work. keep up the good job. If you keep writting I will keep reading. 4/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Lonesomeme

    I have to say, I am not sure which you lost a best friend or a loved one or a boyfriend or husband...honestly, it doesn't matter. I have only read two of your poems so far and already I can tell that you right directly from your heart...that is something that most poets can not do...or at least not with finesse, you've got it though...wonderful read. 5/5.

  • 17 years ago

    by Cindy

    Good job on your poem. Very sad. Hope things get better. Keep writing.
    Take Care Cindy

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