by Marc Ortiz Apr 26, 2007
category :
Sadness, depression /
other
Alone in this great emerald island |
by Marc Ortiz
Hahaha yeah! I got the idea from the 'Island man' and uhm some lines are from that poem :P |
Ok this reminds me of the poem "Island Man" by Grace Nichols. And for this reason i didnt like it. I dont know.. when i read the begining of the poem i remembered the word "emerald" being used to describe an island. This stuck out at me, and i didnt know where i could remember it form. But then the words "heaves himself" reminded me of the poem. I know you havnt fully copyed the poem but still... Using some phrases does seem like you got it from the poem. And also the word "Groggily.. Groggily..". Again this is used in this exact poem! This oculd be a good poem but dont copy phrases form other poerms... it just doesnt work... |
by Vanessa
Rapture should be wrapped. other than that I can see nothing to improve. You did an excellent job,. the poem was beautifully written, and so sad. the emtions were raw and strong, the imagery was vivid, and the word choice was excellnt. 5/5 |
Excellent poem thanks for your comment on "My soul mate" |
I noticed a couple of spelling n grammar errors...besides tht.The poem was superb!...n lol writing such beautiful stuff during class is like Kooolll.......Luv it anyways...just cool.... |