Great, very heartfelt......
it was really nicely written and very deep though.
keep up the great work...
a 5/5 from me cause you really deserve it.

I think the flow was way off..I liked the word in this write though..Hmm..I'm really not sure how you could make this flow better.. But other than that I liked this poem..It was sad.. Maybe if you rhymed some of the words..or shortened the sentences so that it was all in one line..as opposed to putting the last word of one phrase in the next line..If that makes any sense to you..lol..I give it a 4/5 though cause I think it has potential

There was a lot of emotion in this poem.
I think the flow was off a bit.
Other than that it was a good poem.
4/5

[Sarah]

Nicely Written, I can relate this to girls iv dated. Anwyays nice job keep it up!

Hmm, I will be honest with you. Although I liked the poem.. It definately wasn't the best poem I ever read. Mainly because of the poor flow and part rhyme. Having said this, I still thought it a meaningful poem, and the words were very heartfelt. A good write.

Sole. x

Not the greatest flow (sorry dear, I do care about flow.) But don't worry, It is still a 5/5.

I have written many poems on the same subject, and sadly, I still feel this way. This poem Is one i can totally relate to.

Another plus, you used my favorite word

*sigh*

in a poem.

*Sigh* Good job, m'dear.

5/5
~Stephen White

Awww sad poem. Said out everything u needed to say and doesnt matter the flow like u have ur own story behind it and so it meens to you more than other readers could understand. Great work:) Full of emotion:) Like it!

In all honesty, I think your other one was better.
The way some lines rhymed and some didn't kind of disrupted the flow and threw me off a little.
However, it was still pretty good.
The pain clearly shines through the words and the ending is hard hitting.

A few words, a little emotion, and a whole lot of right on. great poem, and good work

your servant:
david

The flow was off a bit, but it is still a good write, the emtion was strong. I love what the poem was saying. I can realte. You did a grwat job. 4/5

Thanks for the comment, greatpoem!

I'm bound to state the obvious: this poem is deficient of a strong flow. The lines need tightening up. Now, if I may suggest again, maybe applying a consistent line meter, adding more vivid descriptions as well as omitting unnecessary words such as [pre]determiners will, in my humblest opinion, enhance the flow and the beauty of this poem itself. Because I do think this has a tremendous potential to be augmented in any way to another... What made this work charming to me is the last line; it makes it sensible and delightful to read. Thank you for sharing!

P.S. You are a good poet. You don't need to belittle yourself, ma'dear. =]]

Five little words *I want to break up*
So I cry and cry and think why?

aww, that bit was so sad, bt my fav bit 5/5 hun.keep it up!

x

This poem is so heartwrenching. It's such a sad thing what people can do, and it shows that words can sometimes be more hurtful than actions..i loved this poem 5/5

I think this was good but i think you use me to much and when you say "What is so wrong with me, That no man will ever love me" i think you should change the second line so its rythom is the same but you use a different word..like "wat is so wrong with me, that a mans love for me wont ever be" or something like that but over all good poem
5/5
tiffany

Aww this is so sad.. don't worry there's a guy out there who is meant for you.. anyway I enjoyed this poem! its really good very emotional! well done!

Hey, I know everyone has commented about the flow of your poem.Just cus its not conventional doesnt mean that it has to be a certain way,
Alo I noticed that the last line of every stanza did ryhme and had pretty much the same rythym which was needed to tie everything together.
Powerful words and heartfelt emotion. Well done honey x

Awww sad poem,
"I want to break up
So I cry and cry and think why?"

I loved it, but it was the saddest part:(
Great read, beautiful poem! I loved it :) 5/5!

I loved this when I read it the first time, and still love it now

Aww...thats sad. Boys stink sometimes. I really liked this poem. Emotional. Well done. Xx Chrissie