Great poem.. haha i was randomly searching and i came across this.. good job on it. it seems to flow really good.. 5/5

Wonderful write, it was good. I liked the flow, however; the 2nd line in the 2nd stanza threw it off for it was too long compaired to the other lines.

Perhaps break it up so it is like this,

Fill my heart with hate
Fill me up with pain
And in the end I hope you'll see
That an eye for an eye makes us blind.

It flows better when the syllable count is closer together, then spead out.

Overall great write, keep it up.

Peace, Joe

HI,
Andrew,

no words to express it ......its just AWESOME!!

keep it up !!

Superna

Liked it but what was the point?

It was a good poem i must say but since its more on fighting and stuff like that i dont really like stuff like that but im no judging you poems on what i like im going to judge it on how well i was put together and it was good but not a five out of five as for as i could tell the rythem good to the point of a little out of sequence once and that would be a great down fall in most peoms but you style is to what you are and what you do so that was cool thats why instead of giving you like a 2 or a 3 im giving you a four for a job well done on this one
Mark

I agree with Joe about the 2nd line of the second stanza....needs to be broken up a bit...

As for the rest...very good write...even though it deals with fighting the opening lines leaves us with the question what is the point of it all?

You can throw a fist,
I can throw one too,
but in the end what will it do?

I love the way you ended the poem with these lines...

So I hope you learn that
An eye for an eye makes us blind.

Very well done...All the best, Debbie

I agree with Joe about the 2nd line of the second stanza....needs to be broken up a bit...

As for the rest...very good write...even though it deals with fighting the opening lines leaves us with the question what is the point of it all?

You can throw a fist,
I can throw one too,
but in the end what will it do?

I love the way you ended the poem with these lines...

So I hope you learn that
An eye for an eye makes us blind.

Very well done...All the best, Debbie

This poem is so true in many aspects. I know first hand that an eye for an eye does not solve anything. It is a shame when two people have to go through trading hits.

In the second stanza you worte it

Fill my heart with hate
Fill me up with pain and in the end I hope you'll see that an eye for an eye makes us blind.

I really think that it might read better if written

Fill my heart with hate
Fill me up with pain and in the end
I hope you'll see that an eye for an eye makes us blind.

--Sher

Great Job... I LOVE it! Mainly because I strongly believe it. Keep up the good work.

This was a very good poem, true and it flowed good. But I think this Stanza:

"Fill my heart with hate
Fill me up with pain and in the end I hope you'll see that an eye for an eye makes us blind."

The last line was a bit too long for the flow of the poem. Break it up....I'm pretty sure they've ^^^ already told you, but anyways very well written, keep it up!!

Loved it. :D Especially the meaning. Keep it up, hun. 5/5

WOW ummm ur poems are much better then mine ther relly hot+cc+

So true! Keep writing... you're awesome!

*Sylvia*

Woww, this peom is awesome!
Its very emotional
and the words are very strong!
i like it xxx