Why does it hurt to be proud?

Why does it hurt to be proud
Why am I in constant pain
And why does no one listen when I scream

Why is it when I succeed, I fail
When I laugh , I cry
When I live, I die

Did I commit murder or suicide
Was this brought upon by myself
Or is it just a nightmare that cannot wake

A crimson tear rolls down my cheek
As I end it all
Perfect and neat

Not a tear was shed for me
Not a word was said
Im the forgotten soul
Left by death

But at least the pain is gone
I cannot feel a thing
As I drift away
For all eternity