Life Without ED

~In this poem it talks about a boy known as ED, just so you know that stands for eating disorder.~

When I look into his eyes

I see nothing but deceit

Lies and painful times

That he wants me to repeat

His voice surrounds me

Engulfing my head

Telling me I'm fat and ugly

With nothing good to be said

I look into the mirror

And see him standing there

Behind me all the time

Acting like he cares

He tires to control me

He's in everything I do

Even when I speak

He's speaking too

He controls how I feel

Makes me feel left out

Filling my mind

With self-hatred and doubt

So why do I put up with him

The way that I do

Because without ED

I would be lost too

But I don't want him

Not in my life

For all he brings to me

Is pain and strife

He has me starve

Then he has me purge

For when I do eat, I eat a lot

And he is the urge

He has me isolate

Brings me back into my shell

For when I am with him

I am never doing well

When he is in my mind

I can't do anything right

I begin to give up

Saying I'm not worth the fight

He tells me bones are pretty

When thin just isn't enough

I have to be better

He tells me he knows it's rough

But I can do it

He believes in me

I start to cry

And then I see

So my bones aren't poking through

And I'm not as thin as a rail

But living with ED

Makes this an impossible tale

He says no one could love me

That I'm not as good as the rest

That I should listen to him

For he knows me the best

I see him in the pictures

I see and hear him everywhere I go

But I don't want him there

So now it's time that he know

I'm going to survive this

I'm going to make him see

I'm better than this disorder

And I'm going to live a life without ED