What is this that i feel?

I was once told that you'd never leave....
I once had more love then i can receive.
but now your darkness is creeping in.
making my heart cold.
i feel no love.
i feel no pain.
what is this that i feel?
its driving me insane.
i was caught in your web of lies.
you played with my heart and my mind.
i hate you but yet i still love you.
but yet your darkness is taking control.
what is this that i feel?
what is that i done to make you hate me so?
some unanswered questions i do not know.
i want answer's that I'll never find.
i want you to stop playing with my mind.
this love i feel for you is blind.
i wish you could not feel pain.
for i am dying in vain.....

I know this poem sounds kinda gay but i tried