Over Priced and Under Dressed

The rhyming in this poem is a little forced. The flow was a little rocky. The subject overall is something that can be related to. 4/5

The concept is interesting, and the poem itself is very well expressed. Great work.

(If you'll take it) (Won't you take it)(If you'll take it) (Won't you take it)

This is the only problem line in this poem.

Personally I would link the two, even if there is a definite pause in the song.

(If you'll take it, won't you take it?)

But if you're keeping the double parentheses I would separate them into two distinctive lines.

You could tidy it up with punctuation to guide the reader to the flow of your choosing, but again, I'm reading real poetry.

Good effort.

Bret

(I don't vote unless you really, really want me to, but if I do vote never expect a five, there are maybe five poems on this site in the last five years that I think are worth a five. But then I get the impression the numbers mean as much to you as they should: not a whole lot.)

It does kind of sound like a song. It's really great. 5/5

<mOnStRiTo'S pRiNcEsS>

What i saw in this poem was true feelings, the way you expressed the whole concept was good. 5/5