by Imani Apr 28, 2007
category :
Life, society /
other
Last night things ain't going right |
by MaSkEdSoUl
It was a good poem, but it needs fixing. Maybe re-word it. On the first line dont use aint, maybe use weren't. Second line add an 'ed' at the end of depress and stress, it'll make it sound better. And on the third line maybe use bad instead of worse, it doesnt quite flow with the rest of the lines. I didnt really understand the fifth line, maybe change it up a bit? I dont know. Line 14 change it up a bit. Well like I said re word it and it'll sound better, and like the other poem I read, you have two different subjects in one line, try to find them and mhave them have there own line. |
by Tara
I like this peom to |