Feeling

by Imani   Apr 28, 2007


Last night things ain't going right
Ive been sad,Depress,Also Stress
I know I don't live a worse life
But I also don't live the best
I'm afraid also in pain shit why life is such a game
I wish I can hurry up to fame make money and help me and my family
Also my love
Be on movies T.V do what I'm fulfilled to do
So cold hate the thought of me growing old
Also wanting to give up but strongly I hold
Facing the rafted of the devils face
Wanting to propose to strength
Aggravated,Complicated,Frustrated,Overrated,
Everybody complaining for example me in this world I'm hated
But I should be thankful cause other boys and girls are being traded
Family to Family but never mad it
Its like I said this world is Overrated also over populated

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by MaSkEdSoUl

    It was a good poem, but it needs fixing. Maybe re-word it. On the first line dont use aint, maybe use weren't. Second line add an 'ed' at the end of depress and stress, it'll make it sound better. And on the third line maybe use bad instead of worse, it doesnt quite flow with the rest of the lines. I didnt really understand the fifth line, maybe change it up a bit? I dont know. Line 14 change it up a bit. Well like I said re word it and it'll sound better, and like the other poem I read, you have two different subjects in one line, try to find them and mhave them have there own line.

  • 17 years ago

    by Tara

    I like this peom to
    u need to keep cheking ur private messages so that u kno im talking back btw

    xxxx

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