Mom and Dad don't hear her as she yells out to stop. = Mom and Dad don't hear her as she yells out to it, "STOP!" (just a suggestion)

She griped = gripped

She runaway from = ranaway

The last verse was powerful, probably the strongest and my favorite throughout the poem. The last line, in parenthesis, is not as strong and takes away from the poem... I would suggest it be emitted.

Other than that, this poem was well written. It was a little sketchy on the flow, but i liked the (abab cdcd) rhyme scheme.

Good job, m'dear.
5/5
~Stephen White

Oh god, this was just so sad and strong that almost made me cry........
wonderful job. you are really talented and you know how to make others cry.lol.
i gave this poem a 5/5 as this is truly a great poem.

Cool but just a little confusing. I really liked it though:) Keep up the great work. Another 5/5

"Hope gave up on her several years ago one night."
[This line seemed a little conflicted. "Years ago one night" really doesn't make that much sense.]

"Dark angels lead the way to Hells black gates"
[Hell's]

This was a pretty powerful poem, and I liked the rhyme scheme. The flow was a bit shakey at times but for the most part it kept strong. The story was interesting.. keep it up!

I liked this poem alot, it was dark and showed great emotion throughout it. Very powerful story you have written here i found it to be portrayed really well, with a great meaning put behind it. The flow was quite nice to me and the ryhme scheme was great. Well done on a nicely written poem~mel

Well, regarding the (), if you were trying to rhyme like aabb, 'life' and 'mind' don't rhyme so it didn't really flow right. You have a lot of grammar mistakes in this poem as well. Also I don't understand what the girl did to end up in jail. Like, I know she hurt someone but who was it? Why that specific person if everyone was laughing at her? And throughout the poem, the flow fluctuated a bit. It sounded like you were trying way to hard to rhyme.

It doesn't seem like a story to me.
Just seems like a lot of venting
Which I respect.
Meaning, not a lot of people
Can express emotions on paper
For example, I can't.
I just tell anything I think
Not feel.
So all in all.
But still.
It seemed to go on and on.
No offense.
I'll give you a 4/5 :]

I liked it. The poem was strong and it had alot of emotion in it. Your words captured my attention and held it in. Your structure was good, 4 line stanza's, with one line pattern. I odnt know i oculdnt really find a rhyme scheme going on.. The title of the poem instantly captures attention and wants to read more. "Shortcut to hell" what shortcut? youve allready got loads of questions going on in the readers mind. Great how you did that. Try using a more variety of punctuatio nincluding enjambment and stuff. Other then that a good read, sorry it took so long for me to return your comment. xx