Deep Within

by Andrew   May 1, 2007


I thought id try changing up my style on this one..let me know what yall think..thanks!

From deep within
my heart now spins
my life, my friends
have come to end.

through the pain, the fame
its all still the same.

I turn my head
And realize im dead.

Just a memory...
drug through from the past.
I think about it slowly.
As I move on fast.

Im scared, unaware
The stress I can't bear.

MY thoughts, my knots.
OF which i can't untie.
My feeling, my pain
of which i can't cry.

I walk away happy.
Strolling with the wind.
My life pans out.
As reality bends.

Reality sends...
me through the stress.
God helps me through it.
Therefore i am blessed.

Blessed, chosen, prayed upon, frozen.
Frozen in time...
For which i can find.

Find a way out.
Find all new friends.
God will help me.
In which my Angel he sends.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by debbylyn

    Interesting....I think you did a nice job on this. The only suggestion, get rid of some of the periods at the end of the lines...it slows down the flow a bit....I'm of the opinion except for a well placed comma or two this poem is fine with no punctuation. You do a good job of expressing your feelings and I like the uplifiting feel to the whole piece. All the best, Debbie

  • 17 years ago

    by Finalgravedigger

    HMmmmm its hard to criticize a good poem
    i think here you can delete the lin and replace it showing your pain, not just death describe it, itll make it better well to me. show the pain

    I turn my head
    And realize im dead.

    Im a little confused on the transition you use from the good and bad. nice poem 5/5

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