Capitalize your i's and add some grammar and you will be pristine. This poem is wonderful. It's flow is almost flawless, although there are a few area's that could be worked on... other than that, good job m'dear.

5/5
~Stephen White

Its very good could be inproved a little but i like it all the same

=] thumbs up to you =]

I like this =]
xoxoxxoox