Like Toy Soldiers {Quadruple Triquatrain}

by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex   May 1, 2007


Take lessons from winter, and take out that splinter,
Hold your head high and with might.
Bring a bite that scares, and a laugh that tears,
You are the Soldiers of this fight.

Tell the moon to grab on tight, with a hint -- be polite,
Share your dares, but don't tattle.
Tell your heart to stop crying, and your mind to stop lying;
This is the beginning of a battle.

Take lessons from winter, you're nothing but a splinter,
An annoying little h-ll.
Dig long and hard, but don't let down your petty guard,
Or you won't do too well.

Laugh while you kill, beckoning all your will,
You're much stronger than you think.
Take hold of your heart, though nasty and tart,
Will do you well in this battle over in a wink.

-----------------------------

Lines 1 and 3 have internal rhyme whereas lines 2
and 4 do not.

Rhyme Pattern:

(a,a)
b
(c,c)
b

(d,d)
e
(f,f)
e

(g,g)
h
(i,i)
h

0


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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by skynerraw

    I love the style, it's amazing poem, I can't find anything wrong besides I think the flow was off a little tiny tiny bit in the middle, but thats it, I loved it! Great poem :D

  • 17 years ago

    by honeypot

    I love this style of writing! I hacvent seen another poem on this site that i can recall that was written in this format.

    your words were great too, I think the rythm git lost a little in the middle but overall a great poem x

  • 17 years ago

    by Cherise

    "Laugh while you kill, beckoning all your will,
    You're much stronger than you think.
    Take hold of your heart, though nasty and tart,
    Will do you well in this battle over in a wink."

    I loved the words you used in thats stanza, Out of all the poems of your i read so far, this one i say i would like most. I don't know why, it;s just perfect, theres nothing wrong with it. Your an amazing writer 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG

    This is another title I was going to take, and I still have it written down to write; and now, once again, I will have your lines stuck in my head as I write haha. Great job Darling, you never seize to amaze me with your talent.

    "Tell the moon to grab on tight, with a hint -- be polite,
    Share your dares, but don't tattle.
    Tell your heart to stop crying, and your mind to stop lying;
    This is the beginning of a battle."

    ^^ I loved those lines, they stood out to me. =)

    5.5