Hey, this poem was very interesting. i liked how you used the bird as a sort of mediphore but the peom itself has been done befor no nesceserily using a bird but the story has been told before, the flow was definitally off. and the fact that you repeated fly away. in the last of everyline made it seem very, tacky if you will. the last stanza was a compeltly diffrent form then the others but overall was better then all the others.

the poem wasnt bad, but i could have been better.

sorry for being harsh, but you said you wanted honesty..

:]

"A bird can fly to whereever he would like to go"
['where ever']

Ok, I have a suggestion for you, and you don't have to use it. Using the line 'fly away.. far away', is a bit of an over kill. Try combining the lines.

"I wish I was a bird;
For birds don't need to stay in one place,
Birds sing a song every morning;
We awake to hear them sing a song,
Right before they fly away... far away. "

Problems wouldn't need to be faced;
Every single morning of every single day,
I wouldn't have this battle;
A battle with food, it wouldn't be killing me;
If only I could fly away... far away.

I don't know, it's totally up to you. I still enjoyed the poem, it was well written. Keep on writing!

This was a good poem, I enjoyed reading it. And using the bird as a metaphor was a good idea. But like most people said the words "fly away...far away" at the end of each stanza didnt quite go. But overall it was a great poem! Keep it up!

I know the pain you have showed in this poem very first stanza is the very best stanza. yeh A bird can fly to whereever he would like to go
When it wishes to escape, just hold out his wings
And fly away... Far away

i liked that. take care 5/5