Good pacing, a bold message, and a lot of thought went into this great poem. good job

your servant:
david

It was... a bit confusing, nd the last two stanzas really felt forced, like you had no idea what to put. But it still has that sense you usually put into your poems, so i'll give it a 4/5.

-Liz-
*one wish, one dream, one heart, coming clean*

Well written. i agree about the last two stnzas feeling a little forced, but the excellent word choice makes up for that. I couldn't come up with anything better. 4/5

I really liked this poem. like David said, it seems like you put a lot of thought into it, and it turned out really nicely.

You asked about the poem of mine you commented on:

It basically said that the person had anger and hate in them and life brought no relief to them, so things got so bad that they killed themselves and their friends that made it through the pain of losing their friend could never completely get over it. So, the Time of Never represents eternity, it was a way of saying that no one will ever get over the pain of someone they know commiting suicide.

Hope that explanation helps...

I don't think it needs changing.
I think it's great how it is.
"Yet, to feel those lips unto mine
It will feel like heaven on its own
When or if I choose love over death
Will my finale be postponed?"
^ I loved that stanza, lots.

I think that it is great. Another 5/5 from me.

I personally couldn't find not one
thing wrong with this poem.
The flow was very well done,
and the poem was penned well!
God bless 5/5
<3tay(^_^)