Somebody Spoke

by Vanessa   May 2, 2007


Somebody spoke and I went into a dream
A far away place, where nothing is as it seems
Everything around me was cottony white
Everyone asking are you alright?

Somebody spoke and I went into a dream
A never ending nightmare without a final scene
My lips turn blue, I am starting to convulse
My heart is stopping, I have no pulse

Somebody spoke and I went into a dream
All I can hear is a silent scream
My eyes are rolling back into my head
In the matter of seconds I will be dead

Somebody spoke and I went into a dream
I am in heaven, my slate has been wiped clean
Inside my box I have been placed
All memory of my former life, erased

Somebody spoke and I went into a dream
A far away place, where nothing is as it seems
Everything around me is now pitch black
I am finally at rest, and I'm never coming back

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by David

    Everyone asking are you alright? this from your poems needs a , in it and maybe some talking marks.

    but this was really well done. this poem spoke to me, and i thought i read a different story that was hidden between the lines.

    5/5 David

  • 17 years ago

    by Arcane Blondie

    This was very well written. The emotion in it was great and strong and the word choice/rhyming were perfect. I love how you incorporated the repetition into the poem.

    5/5 :-)

  • 17 years ago

    by Momentary Relapse

    I liked reading it but sometimes the flow felt off. The repetition was actually effective and the concept was something different. I do like how the first and final stanzas kinda tie in together with the first two lines of each.
    ~Faith-less

  • 17 years ago

    by Bradley Peter

    I like this piece very, very much. The opening and closing stanzas were strong and the rhymes was well written, as was every line. I liked the way that the first two lines of the opening and closing stanza were the same. There were a few other parts that I enjoy reading more than others like;

    'A never ending nightmare without a final scene'

    'All I can hear is a silent scream'

    'I am finally at rest, and I'm never coming back'

    My favorite, of course was the final line, which was perhaps the greatest line of the entire piece, which is what makes it so important that it goes last. Anyway, great piece.

    Brad

  • 17 years ago

    by Julienne

    Good poem, great message... what do you see? great poem and a connection that is unlikely to occur... congrats!!