Why I Ask Myself

Lately Ive been thinking as the time passes by
of where I will end up at if I stay with the same guy
I went on for so long being devoted to only him
but truth is hes the reason for all the pain Ive been in

For years and years I only wanted to stay by his side
From a teen to a young women, he caused me so many cries
I was lied to, deceived, and mistreated and abused
I gave you my all and in return I got used

And why I ask myself did I yearn for his touch
why I ask did I love him so much
hes all the reasons why I should move on with my life
hes the main cause for every one of our fights

But now things are changing so rapidly my feelings are in a twist
I want to get out and leave, but I don't want it to be you I miss
I don't know, maybe you being away for a while
has opened my eyes more and gave me a reason to smile

But since you came back, your saying you love me even more
and I ask myself why didn't you love me this much before
you said it was being away from me that made you realize
that you hated the fact it was you making my eyes cry

And I believed you, and we got back on track
but now that I have you again, I'm not sure If I want what we had back
I ask myself why, why for every thought in my head
why, about all the bad things you said

Why for all the times you left me home
why did you even leave me alone
why did you run out be untrue
and why didn't I stay away from you