U know i love the way u keep on reapeating
..MOMENTS TURNEDS TO MEMORIES.. it was so aweet and very romantic and i love the message..but unfortunately,when u say that this is not a true story i was feel sad.. coz i really love to read a poem when it is from a real life and if all the words are comes to ur heart. but im just curious how could u make a struture like this if this is not true story! well.. i can see u have a great imagery... bcoz i can only write poems if i had a something inside that i cant express out.. but to be honest this really sweet and great flow of imagination.. so keep on writing 5/5

This was long good description of the story but, I think it did not flow from paragraph to paragraph good. There was something missing but I can't place my finger on it. The other thing you just said he died and the reader is suppose to think thats sad but no real story on how he died I think that would give the poem more energy oh well just a thought. Plot121

Greatly penned storyish write!...maybe though the flow was a tad off.. but all the Amazing poem!..but the poem as a whole has a great structure and well defined imagery too..and has it's own charm!...lovely work!.

Very beautiful poem! Enjoyed reading it.. Very sweet and end was so sad... I don't like long poems but this kept me reading.an amazing one! Keep up the great work!

"The chilly snow was falling light
Leaving flakes atop our clothes
But when you're lost in someone's eyes
Such a distraction doesn't show"

^Unbelievably true! Haha, an excellent piece. You have explored love wonderfully throughout a well written poem. The imagery, not only in the stanza above, but throughout the poem works finely with the words you've chosen to structure this piece with. The rhyme and the flow is constant and the repetition of one of the stanzas is effective indeed! Very well done :).

Wow. this poem was awsome. such a sad one. i had tears in my eyes. i know you said its not real. it had so much emotion in it. This was amazing. im so glad i decied to read it. the only thing i seen was..

"In all the pain you death has brought"

is it supposed to be.

"In all the pain your death has brought"

anyway this is a 5/5 hands down.. keep up the awsome work!

"Oh what I'd give for one more day
Just one more day with you"

You've encompassed so much with this couplet.

"Please remeber darling" (sic) ( = Remember is misspelled.)

"The chilly snow was falling light
Leaving flakes atop our clothes
But when you're lost in someone's eyes
Such a distraction doesn't show"

I agree with Ms. Elysium that the imagery you depicted in the poem is marvelously superb. I specially loved how it progressed to the unprejudiced reader the story of a love tragedy, that which enchanted me at the least, in a way which unfolds slowly while keeping something hidden through the use of the refrain. A wonderful write. 'Twas my joy to read and comment this piece. Thank you for sharing! Take care now, Debbie

Beautiful poem

I really enjoyed reading this poem, i found it to be more like a story but you pulled it off quite nicely. The emotions portrayed were beautifully sad. So strong and powerful. I found this to be heartfelt and capturing. The story you portrayed was amazing. I found it to be sweet and loving at the start then it had a twist going dark and sad. Interesting poem i enjoyed reading it alot. Well done~mel

Oh and btw i know i commented on this poem before but i found i didn't write enough about it so once i read it again i decide to leave another comment. Hope you dont mind =)

WOW ........ WOW I FREAKIN LOVED IT SOOOO MUCH I DONT CARE IF IT WAS TRUE BECAUSE FROM THE BEGINNING IT WAS A GREAT POEM AND WEN THE PART CAME OF HIM DYIN FOR YOU MY EYES GOT WATERY OMG I LOVED IT GREAT POEM GREAT POEM

Wow. it was an awesome poem, and yes it was really long, i see what you mean now, well i cannot find any thing wrong with it, it was perfect. 5/5