I really loved this...there was so much emotion in it and I especially liked the last line, it was awesome. I did, however, notice one thing..

"Both beat quickly with a vigor." Shouldn't it just be "with vigor"? I don't know I've never heard it this way and I thout it would make more sense to take out the "a". But, I may be wrong. =)

5.5

The first line really caught my attention, which is usual with your poetry. But the ending, boy on boy I loved it, espeically the last two lines! Amazing. :D
Well, there was one thing I didn't like about the poem. The word 'loom'- I dislike that word used in poems, to me it seems weird, and unfitting for a poem.
But, you had a greattt poem here.
Keep it up. :D

:D The first line was really good, along with the rest of it!
it was an amazing poem! 5/5!!

Like most people have said, I love the last part. It fits perfectly, and acted as a great ending. I've never poetry in this form before, so it's always interesting to read something new.

:] Excellent work.

Hm I loved the last little stanza in this poem. I'm not sure that I really got the message to this poem but I liked the idea.