I like the reption thoughout the poem, it made the flow perfect. The imagery is vivd, and the word choice excellent again you get a 5. Very well written.

It was different, but it was good.
It flowed well and rhyming didn't seem forced.
Keep it up 5/5

[Sarah]

I liked the vivid imagery and the flow of everything.

Nice job! 5/5

Josie

Lol I found this one preaty funny. The line that you chose to repeate was perfect. You seem to have a way with repetation. The only thing that I think would have made this poem better would be if you made it a little bit less dark. But other than that nice work.

This poem has been in my favourites for a long time and i showed my band members and they like it too. we have a competition up soon but we're struggling with lyrics. we were wondering if we could take some lines from this poem.
and if we get asked questions about the song, we'll give u credit! lol