Hm.. Well it was nice. It flowed ok.. It could be better. Try to have the same amount of syllables. Or some sort of rhyme scheme.
The choice of vocabulary is dull. Some of it didn't make sense.. All in all it needs alot more work.. Hope i helped. Thanks for sharing

I think you managed the poem well in its structure and got the feelings of the person through well.

Why is the rating only 3.5?
It should be much much higher!!!
5/5.