I still miss you

Theres people always telling me
"healing hearts take time"
its been all these years
and I'm still not doing fine.
wondering who you'd be now
and why did you leave.
what would you say
if you ever saw me?
you have no idea
of the hell that I've been through
trying to kill myself
so i can be with you.
clinging on the memories
that we made in the past.
all those tears i shed
still ain't brought you back.
i cant help but be mad
at god for what he did
because we all know
you had a great life to live.
but then you died
and he took you away
paybacks a bxcth
and i ain't gonna pray.
i miss you to death
and that wont ever change.
still going every week
and putting flowers on your grave.
i cant wait to see you
and hold you in my arms
to feel protected from the world
and all of its harms
to look into your eyes
and let it all sink in
to start to realize
we're together again.

[[i would like to dedicate this poem to my father, terry lightbody and to Tomas Jonson (TommyJonny) and also to Marvin green. i miss you guys so fxcking much. i shed tears writing this sxit. but this is also for the people who have ever lost somebody. the struggle never stops.]]