It was long, but I finished it and I enjoyed it very much. I like how you finished off the poem with a whisper it was very good. 5/5 lovely work nessa.

Quite a long poem. To make it easer to read i suggest you split it up into stanza's. Ok well i loved the first line of the poem, you used alliteration with "heart hurts" this worked brilliantly. As it opened the poem it made the reader want ot read on. With the secound line, you made a rhyming couplet. AFtert hat i couldnt really see a rhyme scheme going on.. I think by this, "hold me hand" you meant "hold my hand". I know you tried to make a little rhyme with "while" and "wild" but it seems a little forced. This alliteration was good for the poem, "silent soul in shambles". Try using a more variety of punctuation in your work. I apologise if my comments seem to be a little harsh, but i said honest feedback. Not a bad poem, better then the first i read. But i thought it oculd be improved. xx

I like this nesse keep up teh good work

I rate this 5/5 i really like it =]]

Again, the word, "dont" should be changed to, "don't"

All your poems are greatly written, however; you need to work on your puncuation. Other than that I felt this was a wonderful poem with great wording.

Peace, Joe

Hey nesse am i counted as friends
seeya jeff

Hmm..this poem is so sad, it made me think, but not that hard, coz i can relate. im so sorry. sometimes, you just lose the people you love, or they just seem to be slipping away, i guess you just gotta stay strong. i know, it dont help, its just that, i can relate, i stay strong, and dont let naything hurt me, and it dont...not much anyway. a beautiful poem hun, lots of raw emotion . keep it up!
and thanks for your comment.
nuf luv xx