I sit here and I analyze
exactly what it is I feel inside
An unbearable loneliness that I try to hide
Something that I always try to push aside
I once gave my all
Only to take a long hard fall
And in that fall I lost me
And now do not know how to keep my sanity
Who am I inside I do not know
Somewhere along the way you've made me lose my soul
My mind always second guesses every thought
Especially after I lost everything I sought
A heart that has been hurt
Battered and bruised, drug thru the dirt
It hangs in place by only a thread
And it brings tears to my eyes as I lay in bed
I do not know what is meant for me
My future is too blurry for me to see
I'm never happy with second never really satisfied
I feel when I accept it I am living a lie
Yet in my heart I feel as if I will never find more
That this is all that I have waiting in store
Smiles constantly forced upon my face
But they never quite feel at place
I'm so afraid to feel love again
Afraid to find out that it is all pretend
I don't want to care or cry
I would rather stick a knife thru my heart and die
I try and I try
To stay calm inside
But a silent raging beast is hiding deep inside
Waiting for the right moment to arise
She will not give a warning to me
She just sits back waiting patiently
Until the day I say FREAK IT ALL
And then the beast will make me take my fall
So much pain all wrapped in my head
Twisting my mind to see horror instead
She wants your blood in her veins
But at one time, she would have only asked for your name
So beware because I fear what's in my heart
For you killed me from the first day I took part
