Votes and comments, welcomed.

Great poem it is dark i like that awesome job im glad i read it:D:D

keenan

Wow this was very powerful and visual. This was great wallace [= keep writing so i can keep reading
Carissa E>

Great job excellent poem loved this one a bunch my favorite line was the line about the kids huddling together great imagery

Wow you have an excellent vocab. and are great at creating imagery in your words, well done xox lithium

Magnificent write. ;) you drew me right into the scence. Your vocabulary was amazing! Your rhyming was too, your flow was a little off but all you have to do is count your sllylables(sp.) have around the same numbers ;) other than that it was great! this was my fav part:

It is a serious matter don't be mislead
Play around with it, and you'll end up dead

It's that five-letter word that takes us by surprise
For it deceives and swindles with its evil lies

It waits and prepares to bring these children to their doom
For death has entered and consumed this room

5/5

Wow what a powerfull write ,well done

Wow, I loved this. You use many spphisticated words, which helps in visualization. Thank you for the coomet. I have thoroughly 'checked out' your poems, and this one is my favorite.

Well i wuite enjoyed this poem. I liked the title, it drew the reader in. "The Desire For Death" youve kinda used alliteration there. Ok well the first stanza captures the readers attention as the you have a rhyme scheme there. The seopund stanza seems really dark, and it makes the reader wonder whats happening. The third stanza, well the words "leaps and it dances2 completely contradict the next words, "inflicting pain and torment" its kinda weird having these two phrases in the same stanza. But i liked it. It extended the point your making. Worked wonderfully. I loved the vocabulary in the next stanza. Quite unique. The stanza after that you used rhyme again. You ddidnt really have a scheme going on hear. On some parts you used rhyme and on others you didnt. I didnt like this. But well the netire poem seems quite dark. Excellent vocabulary used. To improve this, i suggest you use punctuation. Other then that a great read. Keep it up! xx

Very well written. Great imagery great use of vocab. You're very talented keep it up!!

I know I comment on this before but just had to do it again. You got 3rd place in my contest with this poem excellent poem Thanks for makeing me look at the love poems differently

This is a good poem but atmosphere and imagery could be stronger. It is interesting but I don't understand what this poem is about. It is interesting but it isn't the best sad poem that I read.