It was a bit emotional... but isn't that what peotry is all about?
5/5
Ravyn

So awfully lovely I really love this poem omg... MAKE MORE lol.. thanx for your comment ......-------->LOVE IT<------

I like free verse poems, and i like poems that rhyme but ones that mix, dont really work all that well, just my opinion. But apart from that and the grammar and so on, it was good. I liked the emotion and i enjoyed it.
well done, good try
xxxxx

I can totally relate and i understand what you are feeling the emotion in the poem is a very good thing it makes the reader actually feel the poem another5/5

laura

Its there under the surface of this lie << that line i think u need to put a comma apart "there".

I cant do this just cant hold on any longer<< comma after "this"

i think u did a really good i just think u need to read over it and check your punctuation a bit, to help the reader to know when to pause.

otherwise a great job
4/5