My Father's Death

by Vanessa   May 9, 2007


Midnight, alone in my room
Writing a letter to a friend
I could almost feel the doom
When he knocked-"come in"

He ran up to me, tears still falling
"Someone has to talk to you"
He said as he was bawling
I didn't know what to do

I picked the receiver and said "hello"
"Your father is dead, they replied
I started to shake "Dear God No"
The tears I did not try to hide

I felt arms around me in embrace
I longed to just break free
The tears still rolling down my face
Vision so blurred I couldn't see

Finally they just let me go
For the thoughts in my head
Were ones they did not know
I heard nothing that they said

As they tried to calm me down
I could think of nothing at all
I could not utter a sound
As I let myself finally fall

I felt like I losing my mind
I had no self control
It was just the right time
To let this anger go

In my room I locked the door
Grabbed my box off the shelf
I just didn't care anymore
As I started to harm myself

First I cut, way to deep
Then I burned my skin
I felt my soul begin to weep
As the pain had set in

Fury in my brain, raging like a storm
I just couldn't seem to scream
Wondering why it was that I was born
Into the unreal horrid dream

They kept on knocking
Begging me to let them in
But I didn't feel like talking
While I was dead within

I took some pills, pouring a drink
Lit a joint taking one long hit
I just didn't want to think
I only wanted to forget

They broke down the door
Helping me to stand
You won't do that anymore
He said , grabbing my hand

He looked at my arm in disgust
Seeing the pills on the floor
Give me the blade you trust
Fearing for me even more

I handed it to him, like he said
He wouldn't want you this way
He went on just shaking his head
I didn't know what I should say

So I stood there completely in a daze
My mind a torn up deserted place
My soul hidden in a twisting maze
Glassed over, dead and cold was my gaze

I remember that, like it happened last night
It took me a long time, to stop the pain
And even longer to heal, my mind right
Nothing will ever again feel the same

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Ashleigh Skye

    I liked this the only thing that I can see to critique on is when someone is talking I think that you need to add quotation marks just so the reader knows that its someone talking and not just more of the poem. At first I was a little intimidatted(sp?) by the length of this poem but it was very well done. I liked the sence of lose, anger, and sadness and I really liked how it changed to a feeling of understanding and acceptance at the ending. Because you have to learn to accept death and not fight it. Well done.

  • 17 years ago

    by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

    I felt like I losing my mind
    [I felt like I {was} losing my mind.]

    Now, I loved the fact that it flowed so well and I love that it told such a story without confusion. However, the cutting part and such was very cliche..and I hate cliche. Also, around that time in the poem, I didn't feel the emotion anymore; how the blade really felt and so on.
    But, I do like how you write. I'm sorry, though, I have to give it a four.
    Oh, and also, you have MAJOR punctuation errors. That really bothers me..and it hurts the flow. Try to fix them and the flow would be perfect. =]

    xTheEcstaysofSuicidex 4.5

  • 17 years ago

    by Stephanie Naylor

    Very sad and great, but throughout the poem you talked about HIM, as in not your father?

  • 17 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    Wow, such a saddening poem. I'm so sorry for your loss. But I like how you manage to put your experiences into beautifully formed writing.

    "I felt arms around me in embrace
    I longed to just break free
    The tears still rolling down my face
    Vision so blurred I couldn't see"

    ^ This stanza was my favourite. Excellent.

  • 17 years ago

    by Gullan

    Lovely poem

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