This was a good poem, abit longer then most I found it hard to grasp the whole thing the structure was good but I think it was abit redundent in some place good try Plot121

Wow//// what a great work you have donw good

''"I" was used to relying
On "me" when times got rough
But "me" had gone away now
And "I" was not enough''

I love that stanza...my favourite part of the whole poem.

Words can not express how much I love this...I found it to be original and unqiue in concept and creative.

Flow was flawless throughout the entire poem, imagery used created vivid pictures and though I don't usually like poems with to many ''I's'' I think that added to effect and made it all the more intense.

You did a wonderful job with this.

I liked it maybe you can check out my poems maybe maybe not but your poem was good ~melissaraye~

Wow, this is pretty darned long.
Lol.
But still.

Your first stanza?
Loved it.

Third stanza?
I was not enough.
Hmm... quite a bit eccentric.
But so am I.
We're a perfect fit.

For the naked eye to see
That was a bit cliched.
I liked that you described the eye
As so it's not JUST an eye.
But still...
It kind of threw me off.

My mind turned to a f u c k i n g maze
Where all my days "I" spend
And everywhere "I" f u c k I n g turned
There's yet one more dead end

I really don't like that stanza.
If you're going to curse.
Do it in a place where you're supposed to.
You don't have to break a rule to do it.
But other than that, the eff word just didn't fit with the poem.
It was so mellow before and now it's about...
eff-fing.

Just like a mucky pelf
Really forced dear.
You should find another line for that.

"I" can't look in his eyes
Cause "me" just looks away
"I" wants to fall in love again
But "me" just wants to stay

That was kind of random and didn't really fit in with the beginning of your poem.

Seeing myself killing victims
What victims, dear?

If you ARE going to use the eff word.
Don't put in in the same stanza
It just becomes overused.

Split in two emotions
That "I" and "me" had made
Makes sense to be confused now
When all had been portrayed

You should've ended your poem in that.
That's a wonderful ending.

Umm...
Confusing.
Random at parts.
All in all, it was okay.
It doesn't deserve a 5.
But I WILL give it to you for effort :P

This piece was really long.Interesting none the less. I really didn't like the swearing in this piece I didn't think it was needed what so ever. I really don't like poems which hold so many "I's" and "Me's" sometimes it felt like I was reading the same part over and over again. Places were forced, although I did like the originality behind this poem, Unique in its very own way which is what caught my attention. None the less a good effort. 4/5

Whoa. At first I seen a few spots where "I" and "me" would sound better switched, but I realized they were completley different.

I loved how you did this, though. Like, it was so unique, yet so not. If that makes sense. So many people have written poems like this, but not like this. They always speak of confusion in a different format, you spoke of it in your own format, creating a new, intresting,amazingly written piece. xD

Keep it up

I really enjoyed this piece because it was very unique and so very true. We often battle ourseleves without realizing it at the time. I really loved the way this was written with the "I" and "me" definately a 5/5 Fantastic job GG23