This is good.

Interesting piece. This seems a little too advanced for someone so young, not the writing, it seems as though the subject is a little down and out of your luck.

I really liked it and felt it was a good piece, I just never thought that 9/10 year olds could write like this. I know that when I was 10 all I wanted was candy and baseball.

I give it a 5.

On a side note, you should watch the long sentences.

My heart beated for you, it was loud.
I remember I could see your beautiful smile even through the crowd.

too long for it, but I know that was a message that you wanted to get across to everyone. Wonderful job on the poem, keep up the great work.

5/5