How much it hurt to know

I just wish I knew
I couldn't be with you
back before this all began
before i played this age old game
of love and heartbrake
so now I take
one last look

I remember the smile that always brought me back to you
I remember when i fell for you
I'll never know what it was like
you'll never know
I'll never let it show
how much it hurt to look at last

one last look to our past
its why i had to see
why we could never be
why even if we were
it would never last
as i am no more
what i was before