by Tricky Daze May 12, 2007
category :
Sadness, depression /
about death
Hearing the horrible sound of raindrops, |
I liked your repitition idea on the last line of each stanza. It really extended your point. You had a good rhyme scheme going on hear, with the secound and third line of each stanza rhyming. I liked htis alliteration you used with; "Hearing the horrible" it introduced the reader to the poem. Enjoyable way to start. I likedt he idea of this no one's listening when they really should.. .it made me think. Good vocabulary used, and good description. Loved how you described yourself as "mentally broken soul" it was good. I thought to improve you could of used a more variety of punctuation. But a good read. Keep it up! xx |
I feel the same way, people don't acknowledge us and if they don't sometimes things can be bad. I wish people would listen to me and it's frustrating because they don't. Anyways this poem was nicely written and I like how you used organization |
by xo kisses xo
Awe! thats so sad. i love how you repeated the last line in ever stanza. this would be a good poem if it rhymed...but its still really beautiful without rhyming. 5/5 |
by David
The description and effect this has on the reader is magnifico! well done and plz keep writing. love your poems. every single one of them. |