This was awsome! i liked this. it flowed well. and full of emotion.. keep up the great work.. 5/5

Great flow, wonderful word choice, and strong emtion. that was awesome 5/5

A nice piece. A few puncuation issues. Again with the none capitalized "I's" The broken lines through me off in some places but over all A good piece. ~mel

It flowed well and was a good piece of writing. you have talent, and i look forward to reading more of your work
xxxx