by Evil One
Very nice peom, I can feel ur pain |
Such pain in this poem, but i like it. 5/5 |
by Bloodstained
I agree with Stephanie. I love it, 5/5. |
by Vanessa
Painfully sad. such an amazing write on such a cliche subject, perfectly penned, excellent flow. I liked this one the best so far 5/5 although I wish i could give you more. |
I enjoyed this. Its a poem many would call "cliche" but you pulled it off nicely. The title of the poem gives away the subject of the poem. And the first line, the "You may" makes the reader acctually wonder what this girl acctually is. You describe this "mask" that many suicidal people seem to where. And yes looking more closely is something that many people do not do even though they should. Maybe ecuase they dont want to look more closely. I liked your description in this, "dusty mirror of her heart," i think it describe suicidal depression excellently. And it kinda creates this image. Mirrors are usually clean, and shiny. Not dusty. The rhyme sceme of this poem was a little sketchy. And the last line i found was too long. Another thing i ddint like was your punctuation. You only use this strict strcture. Try using enjambent. That said the poem itself was really emotional. You used emotion and vocabulary to your advantage. Keep it up! xx |
You explained this beautifully, i attempted something like this and i found it really hard to write. Your words come across so free and beautifully :D |
I liked it alot! |
by Nix
Wow, you always impressed me with your poetry. Great job, wording is superb. I like topic the most and atmosphere that you created is incredible. 5/5 |