Bad Trip

It started out fine,
I was excited to try.
But then all went wrong,
And the night felt so long.

I cried and shook,
Wishing that I took.
Just hoping the night would end,
Or my life to God I would send.

If it wasn't for my two best friends,
My life would no longer have been.
Bad memories surface,
Can no longer ignore the face.

My enemy stands before me,
I fear I see someone familiar,
I see thee.

Battle within,
Never ends.
"I am a perv,
I don't deserve to live."

My friend observe,
As I break down.
Hear not nothing,
But my crying getting loud.

Voices getting louder,
"It was my fault,
I committed the assault."

Shaking fiercely,
Pushing them away,
Feeling lonely.

Don't know how to fight,
Lead alone win.
Can't do this game,
I can lose again.

Big mistakes,
My heart breaks.
Dumb things done,
Numb, No feelings,
Not even one.

Tears stream down,
Can't hear any sounds.
Want to leave this town,
Go somewhere I can't be found.

Drugs taking over,
Wish I had a caliver.
Regret I blocked out,
Just keeps on giving a loud shout.

Can't control anything,
Suicidal thoughts keep coming.
Can't deny them,
Just peer mayhem.

Want to cut,
Got to die.
Want to forget,
I just can't try.

Bad trip,
Bad memories.
Overwhelming thoughts,
I just want them to be forgot.